Abandonment Dream
I have a of of recurring dreams, one of them for instance is that I've been doing a course but forgot about it, and there's an exam coming up.
But there's this weird one, where I log into an old e-mail address, or I' trying to and there's an old profile of mine with lots of old connections. It's not MSN or something, but it's this white website UI chat kind of thing.
Anyway when I get signed in to it, there's loads of barely recognisable faces and strangely, album covers too, of people I used to know.
I can't really describe the logic/feeling of dreams, because this is a normal enough thing in real life, like logging in to an old profile, but in the dream there's this sensation of this login still works, and there's a whole fun world on the other side of it, but I can't remember the details, or I do log in and I'm trying to piece together where I've been.
Funnily enough there was an endless scroll on my profile and I was seeing art I'd apparently uploaded there nd thinking, "hmmm, I would never like this art now".
This was the focus of the dream, but it was interspersed with being lost on a bus going out somewhere far away, and also going to the shop where I used to live.
All extremely bland, inane things, but it had a strong kind of emotional effect on me as I woke up.
More here that I didn't initially include, I was trying to start or restart a conversation with a guy about music making, and art, kind of like I used to talk about poetry with some people online. There is a dream to the same stem as this one where I've been out for drinks at a small bar in the local village, where there used to be a water coloured bar, which conversely is where I often dream I'm going back to college, in a waterpark. Anyway there is a session down there of live music, and I wind up with lots of people's numbers, but it's from years ago and I can't recollect the night.
So this too, reconnecting or connecting, it's like I've a place that knows me very well but I've forgotten myself. I'm awkward being myself but everyone knows my name and they are familiar and laughing along with me.
Through the UI of this dream social media I see people from the past in new apartments, in dim sitting rooms, dancing, partying, being young and chill. It's like they are in a lofi hip hop beats song. Silly.
I suppose most of my dream is me watching, or seeking, or trying to find something there, bewilderedly trying to connect.
A person has said this is an abandonment dream:
"It is the modern equivalent of a dream where you come home from school and realize that your family has moved away, and you have no idea where they went.", says the ghost.
This seems very true to me. A lot of these places online are trying to recreate something from a former life, alone now, aesthetics and shrines and meaning-thirst all gathered into one, like an old photograph you hide for a long time.